


Meaningless Marriage Musings

by ElricLawliet



Category: Red vs. Blue
Genre: M/M, Pure shameless fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-25
Updated: 2015-03-25
Packaged: 2018-03-19 14:46:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 483
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3613860
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ElricLawliet/pseuds/ElricLawliet
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In which Grif is a moron and Simmons is having none of his shit.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Meaningless Marriage Musings

Dexter Grif leaned against the wall of his bedroom window, heaving a dramatic sigh as he stared out of the small, glassless opening over the barren rocky ground behind the base. When the room's other occupant didn't respond he sighed again, even louder and more dramatic.

Simmons unburied his nose from his book, giving Grif a rather unimpressed glare.

"Grif, stop that. You're distracting."

Grif just sighed again, glancing back at Simmons quickly before back out the window. The other man groaned, snapping his book closed.

"Fine, fine, I'll bite. What is it?"

"When will my husband return from the war?" Grif pined, voice breathy and overly dramatic as he placed a hand over his chest.

Simmons let his forehead drop into his palm with a smack.

"Grif, seriously? First of all, you're not married. I'm your boyfriend; oddly enough, we've had a bit of trouble finding an ordained priest in the middle of a box canyon."

"Hey, I bet Tucker would do it. He's been saying we've been married for like, two years now. Or maybe Caboose, he's full of surprises. Might have accidentally become a priest like he accidentally became a marine."

"Secondly, we're both in the war, and to answer, never. We're never going to get out of this place. Ever."

Grif huffed, turning around to glare at his boyfriend with crossed arms and a pout. "Wow dude, way to turn a joke into something dark. I'm trying to make you laugh here."

Simmons rolled his eyes, leaning over the edge of the bed to grab his hand and pull him onto the mattress with him. He wrapped his arms around his boyfriend's shoulders, pressing a quick kiss to the cheek that he hadn't donated.

"I'm so sorry. Of course you're funny, using an internet joke that died like, five-hundred years ago. What kind of monster am I for not laughing."

Grif grinned, wrapping an arm around him and pulling him into his lap. "Aw, it's not your fault babe. Robots can't laugh."

Simmons sputtered, face turning red. "I'm only part robot! And I did that to save  _your_ ungrateful ass, if you've forgotten!"

Grif laughed, flopping back onto the bed and tucking his arms under his head. "But you  _love_ this ungrateful ass~" he sing-songed. "And it loves you back, so you still win anyway!"

The red-head's face softened, and he leaned down to press a kiss to the other man's mouth. "Hm. I guess I do, huh."

Grif kissed back with a lazy smile, cupping his hips. He then broke away suddenly, eyes going wide.

"What?" Simmons asked worriedly.

"Wait...Simmons...if you're in the war...and  _I'm_ in the war... _who's flying the plane?!"_

"Are you fucking serious?!" Simmons screeched.

He grabbed a pillow, shoving it into Grif's face to muffle the man's loud, infuriatingly proud laughter. Only Grif would ruin the moment for a fucking  _meme._

**Author's Note:**

> You're flying the plane, Grif. Like you fly/drive everything.
> 
> Based off of [this cute silly thing](http://bamboothief.tumblr.com/post/108881789878/they-will-never-return-from-the-war)


End file.
